After the Affair

Infidelity Recovery

Infidelity is the result of a troubled relationship rather than the cause.

With proper guidance you can create an infidelity-proof relationship.

In most cases, saving (rather than breaking) the relationship after infidelity will make the relationship stronger than before.


Love was a promise, filled with wonderful acceptance, deeply rewarding collaboration and intimate sharing. But no one anticipated infidelity in the marriage resulting in so much conflict, blame and hurt in a marriage after the affair. Especially in the aftermath of an affair - even (or especially) when it was an emotional affair or emotional infidelity.

Through a deliberately focused approach to affair recovery we return our relationship back to love. Available online, from the privacy of your couch or kitchen table, even when navigating affair recovery and infidelity in marriage. We a break-through affair-recovery strategy that focuses on marriage recovery and replacing the cause of the infidelity to prevent reoccurrence in the future.

Anthony Santen

Anthony Santen
CT, SAC Dip (Adv. Psychotherapy), MCH CI, CLC

With over 25+ years of experience, I have developed a fresh, efficient, results-oriented approach to affair recovery counseling. This approach to relationship counseling is specifically designed to return couples to effective collaboration, intimate togetherness, and deeply accepting, trusting love. My approach focuses on the shortest route to the most profound and most rewarding connection between two people.

Couples have told me they have no time for endless sessions that look for fault and rehash the blame, and for them, the best affair recovery counseling is short and effective. Instead, they seek relationship therapy that clarifies and prioritizes the core issues. Couples want a focused approach that directly and deliberately transforms the core issues in the relationship without interfering with the personalities and expressions of the individuals. 

With my approach, we spend little time assigning blame, going through individual childhood issues, mother/father issues, etc. Instead, we deliberately look at becoming more skilled and knowledgeable about our future relationship and creating a more effective relationship moving forward, aiming to create a profoundly intimate, safe, emotional connection filled with love and blissful surrender with no room, or need for extramarital affairs.

Troubled partners seem to be in conflict in a desperate attempt to cause (leverage/coerce) their partners to provide them with what they need from the relationship. They want to love and be loved in return, but something isn't working, and they cannot understand how to get what they need.

Are you ready to accept expert assistance? Are you willing to contribute to the success of your own relationship, even if this means changing some aspect of your approach, if necessary?

The original (old) approach to relationship counseling has been aimed at creating compromise; an arrangement. While this may seem practical in its time, this approach has roots in the 1950s (Virginia Satir) and is currently primarily irrelevant and outdated.  

So much has changed since then - not just two-income families, the birth control pill, feminism, etc. 

Cell phone communication, parenting approaches, life span, the internet, etc., all influence how we approach relationships. Romantic examples originating from the '50s, '60s and '70s are no longer applicable (and sometimes even considered entirely inappropriate).

There is a better way. The secret is in the approach; the way we look at the relationship. And this new approach works! It helps couples create the intimately loving relationship they want, including saving a relationship after an affair.

...to see things we were not able to see on our own... and with only few sessions changed drastically the direction our relationship was headed.
Thank you. You are the best thing that ever happened to us.

Tilila I.

Loving Relationship

The rewards of loving relationships are too numerous to mention. But, immune system and longevity aside, we want peace. The feeling that we can genuinely feel accepted for who we are - in a peaceful home filled with nurture, joy, a sense of belonging, support and acceptance; a space where we can discover ourselves while being loved "just the way we are."

Let's do relationship better.
Let's create a healthier, collaborative and fulfilling relationship.
And let's start today.

"Everything else seems secondary when your relationship isn't working"

Laura (&Brian) H.

Relationship counseling is meant to be the process that transforms relationships into spiritually fulfilling, blissful partnerships for both partners. Unfortunately, couples begin to look for relationship counseling once they're struggling; after the relationship is in trouble when they realize that their own efforts seemed to no avail.

While deep down you want to get back to the relationship you envisioned for yourself, resentment, intolerance, and anger have taken their toll on romance and intimacy in marriage, contributing to that deep sense of belonging and acceptance or even a sexless relationship. Now your connection is filled with disagreements, escalation and unfulfilled needs. Communication has broken down, and it looks as if the relationship is spiralling out of control.

"Thank you so much for today.
You helped us turn a total crisis around in under 2hrs."

Laura C.

Approach

As you might imagine, not all relationship counsellors use the same approach. Some focus on creating understanding and compromise, while others treat the relationship as two individuals who need a referee to tell them who's right and wrong or what's acceptable or unacceptable behaviour in a relationship.

My approach is to empower both partners. To explore deep-rooted healing of the factors that plague a relationship. Without this fundamental shift in approach, solving the core issues in the relationship becomes impossible. Once these core issues are solved, finding ways to empower the partner is easy and rewarding, giving them the motivation and resources to focus on your needs.

Do you know what you want from your relationship? Are you ready to discover your best relationship yet - with your current partner? What if it requires some relationship work - and what if it is a worthwhile investment into your relationship (and ultimately yourself)?

Instead of relationship therapy that ends up in complaining about each other, wouldn't you want to learn how to create a working relationship where both partners communicate openly and feel accepted and respected?  

"After 10 years, my marriage is a sanctuary of peace for my heart, and I've never felt this level of intimacy with my wife - Thank you !!! Its better than I imagined when we got married!"

David (& Jenn) S.

When you come to work on your relationship with me, I keep you (both) focused on creating solutions that work in harmony with how you want your relationship to evolve. I focus you on what you ultimately want - and how to get there. Rather than waste your time being a referee in a competitive relationship, I bring you into a rewarding, mature, intimate relationship that empowers you with the skills and tools to co-create a lifetime of intimacy, fulfillment, and growth. I provide a time-proven approach that brings people together and creates safe, loving, respectful partners with a new understanding of the other and the relationship. It helps you create a relationship where you can feel safe and validated; a place you can be yourself and be loved for who you are.

My goal is to create rapid, comprehensive change and keep you curious and motivated along the way. My mission is to empower you with the skills and tools to work on your own relationship well into the future; after having completed your sessions. Typically, in about four months, we right the ship and confidently set a course for a relationship you want to be part of without needing to rely on further sessions over an extended time.

You learn the key parts that help you turn your relationship around in just a few sessions. Then we create a space where we can explore why you've been reacting the way you have and why you and your partner repeat the same behaviours, over and over. We aim to create a space where you can discover who you are without being subject to your partner's judgment or correction, a space where you can feel accepted for who you are.

Do you want a relationship that lets you feel safe and nurtured while supporting your growth and providing a home for your heart? Rediscover intimacy and trust in the relationship, the joy, emotional safety and acceptance that come from a healthy relationship.

My approach is different than typical relationship counseling as we work together to create the relationship you both want without spending too much time discussing who was wrong (in the past), settling arguments, etc.

Together, we discover the true differences in approach between the masculine and feminine in the marriage, discovering and meeting each other's needs, how to rekindle a loving sexual intimacy, communicating effectively, rediscovering trust, overcome hurt, etc.

Cost of Affair Recovery Counseling for Couples:
Your first online session is a FREE, no-obligation Assessment video call.
After your Assessment Call, we will be able to determine the EXACT cost and time to get your relationship where you want it to be.
Full discretion assured.
All Sessions are Private, and Virtual

More Love in This World,
Requires Intentional Relationships,
One Couple at a Time

Contact Info

© Copyright 2020 Anthony Santen SAC DIP(Adv. Psychotherapy) Counseling Online | Affiliates | All Rights Reserved

FaceBook | YouTube | Twitter | Instagram | TikTok| Privacy Policy